Self-destruction by default
Is it the fear of destruction that
motivates adult children to abuse bodies and minds?
Is it fear of experiencing the discomfort
of real feelings that leads us to medicate ourselves with alcohol, drugs, and food?
Is it fear of intimacy that turns us into
workaholics who have neither the time nor energy to get
really close to those we love?
Is it fear of failure that makes us
all-or-nothing perfectionists who too often do nothing
toward making ourselves well?
Are we cowards who cling to the past
because we are afraid of the present?
To
face the present without our chemical crutches, to slow
down, to test our discipline, to risk failure . . . all of
this takes courage
Change is frightening. Yet, courage is not the absence of
fear.
Courage is facing the challenges before
us in spite of all the fear.
If we accept the challenge of making ourselves healthy, if
we take the responsibility for our own well-being, if we
fail and try again
and again, then slowly, slowly our fears subside.
Accepting the challenge of really taking care of ourselves
makes us strong, gives us a certain sense of integrity,
makes our minds
feel sharp.
For
the first time we start feeling that life is not just a
trial, but an adventure.
And
slowly, slowly, as we gain mastery and control over our
lives, our despair transforms into hope and our cowardice
into courage.
